Monday, May 4, 2015

Talladega and Mean Girls

Last week was kind of a whirlwind for me. I was out of state for 3 days and then came home to rush through getting ready to leave the next day for Talladega, Alabama. I live in the South and have done the Talladega (NASCAR) thing a few times before so I was looking forward to this trip (and the race on Sunday). It's seriously 4 days of one big party. It was a blast. 

That's not what this post is about.

On the Saturday night before the big race there's always a concert at the speedway. An amazing performer, Buddy Brown, started the show for Chase Rice to come out as the big deal. With the exception of a bunch of drunk folks surrounding us, the concerts were excellent. What wasn't were a few girls - early twenties, I'm guessing? - who were next to us and did some things that seriously angered me. I'm short and my husband is over a foot taller than me. Concerts are always a challenge for me because of my height. My man makes sure I'm able to see and is kind enough to allow other short ones to stand with us and helps them see the stage as well. It was a group of these girls that this post is about. 

Chase Rice was about to sing a somewhat sexual song. He asked a girl in the front row to come on stage and dance with him. Performers do that all the time, so no big deal. Beautiful girl. Tall, blonde hair, tight jeans and a thin tank top. She was probably 21 or so and the girl could dance. It was stunning to watch. Her dancing couldn't have been better for that song had it been choreographed. The thing about this woman that had the group next to us getting started was that she is what would be considered full figured. I always hated that term, but that's the only way to describe her. Not big by any means, just not a teeny tiny size zero. This little group of women next to us are what would be called mean girls, I suppose. As soon as the woman was pulled onstage, they got started. Cow. Pig. Ugly. Fat. I listened to these women go on and on. They even tried to start a chant in our section with people yelling these things. The chant (had it happened) would've been "Ew! Cow!" over and over.

I'm not naive. I know that these types of people are all over the place, but for me to be forced to listen to that? I was livid, as was my husband. I wanted to say something so bad and was just about to when my husband did it for me. He made an offhand remark (knowing they could hear it) about jealous girls who can't handle when someone more attractive than them gets attention. Rude? Sure it was, but not compared to what they were doing and a hell of a lot nicer than what I was about to say.

Had this chant taken off, the woman (even over the music) likely would've heard it. That's how close we were to the stage. This woman was having a blast. How would she have felt had she heard these horrible people saying what they were saying? It would've ruined her night and likely bothered her long after. 

Words hurt. I know this. I lived it. I developed an eating disorder because one person (who was very close to me) said something about my weight (I was very tiny at that time and this bugged her). You stop and think "Hmm... maybe they're right" and it gets stuck in your head. It's been stuck in my head for more years than I care to mention here. I now consider myself as "recovering" and am not even close to the state I allowed myself to get into back then. However, the mindset is still there and will likely always be. All because one insecure person felt the need to say something hurtful to me when I was a teenager.

Who gives these people the right to be so hurtful? It makes you wonder if they were raised that way or if it's something that just happened. I didn't allow these little bitches to ruin my night Saturday night, but it hasn't gone away since I was forced to listen to it. These girls give a new meaning to the "mean girl" thing. 

Some of you are likely wondering what this has to do with writing, which is what I normally write about. My answer? Nothing. It's just one of those things that I feel should be talked about. What those girls did (and tried to do) is bullying, pure and simple. If there's one thing that bothers me it's when people are so insecure in their own lives that they feel the need to degrade others. I could go on and on about the stats in regards to suicides as a result of bullying, but I don't have to. Watch the news. Get on the internet. Sadly, it's all over the place. 

I hope the young dancer went on to enjoy the rest of her weekend. I hope that the confidence she showed onstage is there in other aspects of her life as well. I hope she's never forced to listen to what I did Saturday night in regards to her. I never met her and I know I won't, but she kicked ass while the little insecure girls were jealous because the good looking performer's hands weren't all over them. He picked her and I was proud to see it. As for the others? I'm a strong believer in Karma. They'll get theirs someday. I just hate I won't get to see it when it happens.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'll be playing catch up for a few days after my crazy week and then I'll update with a post in regards to what's happening in my writing world.

~Candi Kay


  1. I take people as they come - thin, full figured, middle of the road, black, white any other shade in between. Not so well off, well off. Whatever. If you're a nice person I'm down with that. But if you're talking about sex appeal? I sure fancy the fuller figured woman any day. Do I like those curves? Hell yeah, baby!
    Those bitches were just jealous and it eat away at them. Sad, miserable things. But you're right, they can affect other people's wellbeing because they're bullies, but you just know their lives would be really miserable. I pity them, sad sacks. I'm glad the girl dancing had a great time.
    Good on your husband.
    Good on you.
    Great post.

    1. Thank you so much for saying that. Throughout the entire ordeal I kept wondering if I should say something to these girls. Finally, I realized that people not saying something is part of the problem. Thankfully my husband took the decision out of my hands.

      The dancer was beautiful and she had more class than all these other girls combined. :)

      Thanks for your kind comment.